Shibari How To: Lesson 4/Psychological Considerations of Rope Bondage

From http://www.bdsm-chicago.com/cram:

Psychological Health
Now I am not a psychologist either, and everyone is different, this is what I have learned from my experiences, so please talk to a mental health specialist if you need advice! Now this should fall under a medical section. But I wanted to give psychological health its own section because it is an extremely important, if not the most important thing, about bondage.

General
First off, bondage is all about control (or there lack of), and trust, which are 2 very mentally based concepts. When people are in bondage, they think, feel and (re)act differently they they would normally. For most this can be a very minor effect, for some it can be very extreme. Now psychological reactions are the hardest to figure out before hand, because unlike an injury it is not something you can physically see (well at least usually), and a lot of times a person being tied up for the first time may not know how they are going to psychologically react until it happens.

Clinical Studies
Now I have tried to find studies done on why people like/do bondage, but as far as I can tell, there has never been a clinical study done on bondage topics besides what percentage of the American population does it in their life. I asked some friends about that, and they all replied the same, which was no institution will support this topic because it too taboo.

Comfort / Sleepiness
The type of bondage you are doing, and how the victim takes to the tie, will greatly effect how the victim feels and reacts. If a tie is very comfortable, and they are enjoying it, and immobile, it very common for the victim to get sleepy. I like to describe it as putting a sheet over a cage causing the bird to think its time to sleep, so it does. Human do the same thing, if you bind them and they know they cannot move or get out, and are relaxed, the brain shuts down and will put them in a minor coma like state, so they feel sleepy and want to sleep. Doing a Japanese hog tie, its very common for a victim to be able to stay in it for 1-4 hours on the first try, and I will hog tie them and let them go to sleep, and they will wake up when they are ready to get out, and tell me that, and I will let them out.

Fear / panic attacks
Now depending on the actions taken during a bondage scene, it is possible for a victim to have a panic attack. Now bondage is all about trust, so if the victim loses sight on this issue, or something happens that they did not expect, either action wise, or mental based, its possible for them to have a panic attack. The best thing to do in this situation, is talk to them and calm them down, and start removing them from the bondage calmly.

Psychology of Rope Bondage

Now there are three questions I have come up with when dealing with psychology involved with doing bondage…

3 Questions to ask about doing bondage…
The first, What does bottom/top receive from it?
Secondly, Why do they need/want that? and
Third, Where does it take them?

Generally there are many different reasons for everyone to enjoy bondage, there is no right or wrong as long as all parties are happy and getting what they need from it and also what they want from it! But there are several reasons why people do enjoy bondage, from both points of view. Some of them include what is listed below, but I am sure there are more then what I could come up with…

Control:
Probably the most important key of bondage. For most giving up/receiving, or losing/taking control is the main reason for loving / needing bondage! All the rest generally have something to do with this in some degree or form, but do not have to be the only reason.

Meditation: being bound for some can put the bottoming into sub space, or into a meditative state.

Stress Release: Giving up control can relieve a lot of normal daily stress.

Restraint: For use with other play.

Artistic: It just plain looks kool. ==B)

Yang

I got online tonight for 2 reasons…to talk about Yang but mainly to pout. And there was his newest post (Things I like). I so needed that. Just another example of why he’s so perfect. He always knows what I need and when I need it…even when he doesn’t know he knows. I had spoken to him earlier tonight and during our conversation I realized it would be 3 days before I would see him again, 6 before I would be able to touch him. It is so hard to be away from him. My entire body literally aches for him right now.

So, about Yang…

1. I love talking to him…He’s the smartest person I know and he always makes me laugh.

2. I love playing with him (not sex, trust me…I’ll get to that). He’s not one to sit around…always ready to get out and do something. He’s my best friend. He’s the one that I want to experience everything with and if he’s not there, he’s the first one that I want to tell.

3. I love the way he comes up behind me and smells my hair and neck while he’s pressing his body against mine.

4. I love the way he grabs my ass whether we’re in public or not.

5.  His dick. I love his dick; to touch it, to taste it, to feel it as he slides inside of me. In fact, I think I’m going to start holding it while I fall asleep too. I really can’t pass up a single opportunity to experience it.

6.  I love the intense way he fucks me. Regardless of how gentle or rough (or anywhere in between) the fucking gets, it always goes beyond the physical and feels like he’s touching my very soul. He truly becomes part of me.

7.  Sometimes (most of the time) when I look at him, the feelings inside of me become so intense I feel as though my heart will explode. This causes me to fidget endlessly when he’s not touching me and to tremble when he is. He moves me to the core.

8.  Our relationship is the most genuine thing I’ve ever known. My love for him runs so deep. I love him…I miss him…I want him…I need him.

I would give anything right now to wrap my legs tightly around him and fuck him all night long. Hard. Rough. Passionate. Kissing. Licking. Tasting. Fucking. All night.

Things I Like

1.) The feel of Yin’s pussy. I like to feel it with my lips, tongue, fingers, hand, and cock. I like to feel it on my body when she straddles me. I like looking at Yin’s pussy- very, very sexy.

2.) The taste and scent of Yin’s body. All over. She’s delicious. I could have her every day.

3.) The sounds Yin makes while I’m inside her. She holds her mouth next to my ear while I’m fucking her. She moans in an incredibly erotic way.

4.) The way Yin holds me. Tightly.

5.) The feel of Yin’s body close to mine. She fits me perfectly. She’s like wearing a tailored coat.

6.) Talking to Yin. She’s very intelligent.

7.) I love it when she gets dirty with me. I love it when she lets me get dirty with her. There is nothing I can think of that I wouldn’t do with her. There is nothing I can think of that I wouldn’t let her do with me.

8.) I want to fuck her so long, and so hard, that her legs tremble to the point she finds it difficult to walk. I want to use her whole body so long, and so hard, that she trembles all over, and has aftershocks that last for hours.

9.) Sometime, I want us to have such an intensely heated sexually passionate encounter that after we’re finished fucking we’re each covered in handprints, scratches, and marks. I want us to come together like two Cat 5 hurricanes meeting up in the mid-Atlantic during the stormy winter season…the seas absolutely boiling in a passionate fury.

I want you bad right now Yin.

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