Thoughts…

I saw him today, but not for very long. Just catching a glance here and there, but always while in the middle of something else. I have a job to do after all. Yet it never fails, he walks by and I can no longer breathe. On the outside I can be poised and professional; on the inside I completely melt. My mind wanders to thoughts of him and I have to fight to refocus on the task at hand. His presence simply overwhelms me. I have actually become quite impressed with my ability to carry on a very serious conversation with a co-worker while my mind is consumed with thoughts of him; thoughts of sitting with him in the restaurant/bar over Blue Moons just talking, dirty dancing with him in a smoky blues bar, making love to him all day with no where else to go, the way he sometimes wakes me up in the middle of the night, and playing in the kitchen floor while we’re waiting on dinner to finish. Right now, I would give anything to kiss him.

It’s midnight and my mind is racing…

OK…I haven’t been alone with Yang for 4 days & I have at least 2 1/2 more to go. That seems like an eternity. I miss his face. I miss his voice. I miss his kiss. I miss his hands on me. I miss him teasing me. I miss feeling him slide inside of me. My whole body aches for him right now. I need him! He knows exactly what I mean when I say that I’m rather fidgety at the moment.So, what would I do with Yang if I had him right now? I would lay him down (naked, of course) and crawl on top. Lights on; I love it when he can see all of me. I love to watch him love me. I would start with a slight kiss and then move to his ear. As I’m rubbing my very needy body on his, I would slowly move downward, kissing and tasting him all the way until my head is between his thighs. I would explore every part of him with my tongue until I finally feel him fully in my mouth, with my hands intensly rubbing the inside of his thighs and butt. I would continue in anyway that pleased him. At this point, his wish is my command. And when he’s just about there, I would sit up and slide onto him, pushing him as deep inside of me as humanly possible.When all is said and done, he rolls over and holds me; our bodies always fitting perfectly together and I just kind of melt into him.

Deeper Connections

I think Yin and I have a deep connection rooted in the nature of who we are as human beings. I look around at others and by comparison see people who are mostly only superficially involved with each other. They may or may not agree if asked. From the sake of appearances theirs are relations built on the same foundation as most other fundamental parts of their lives: a thing done because it fits a norm. The person they are involved with could just as easily be replaced by another so long as that person, too, continued to fit within that comfortable norm. The relationship fulfills needs for companionship, comfort, security. I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with that. I point it out only to contrast and better reveal what I think of the relationship between Yin and myself. I need help in clarifying it, because to me it has a component that goes beyond words. She could not be replaced by another. She is a one of a kind for me. I think that is what goes on between us. I am unable to get enough of her.This, of course, drives our relationship in all ways. Being human beings, sex is an essential means of connecting. There are others. But, only sex provides the physical means of touching each other. This doesn’t mean sex is only intercourse. Sex can be many things. We are finding out more about that together.On the subject of Tantric sex, I need to continue to do more reading. I think I grasp a few of the common principles involved. To be oversimplistic, more is better, longer is better, a deeper connection is better. I think we’re on a good path.On the subject of Kama Sutra- only because I ran across the following while reading about Tantric thoughts -I am sharing the following visual aids.Lying Down:Sitting Down:Rear Entry Position:Standing Position:There. That should keep us busy for awhile. lol.

I used to be a really responsible person…

There never seems to be enough time in the workday to get everything done that really needs to get done. So today, I brought quite alot of it home with me. Before Yang came along, I would do this all the time. I figured that once the kids went to bed, I could settle down with an extra large pot of coffee and get it all done. Things are not exactly working out as I had planned. As I sit here, staring at the files that need to be opened, I can’t get Yang out of my head. I can’t see him tonight, so hopefully writing will settle me down enough to actually accomplish something work-related.It can be overwhelming sometimes when I start to think about him and miss him like I do right now. Although sex with Yang is never far from my thoughts, right now, I just miss talking to him. (Of course, I would need to be touching him in some way while we’re talking. I can’t help it. He’s used to it.) I have never been this comfortable with anyone in my life. When I’m with him, I don’t feel like I have to be anything other than who I am. No pretense, just me.Ok…this part may seem a little strange, but it makes perfect sense to me. In my earlier years, sex was just an action; something done with a particular goal in mind and it never really went any deeper than that. Now, its a connection that goes so deep that I can’t even describe it. And, that same connection seems to permeate the entire relationship. When we talk, its not just a conversation; its part of that same connection. When I look at him, its not just what I see; its a connection. And, all I want is to experience him in every way possible. With every look, I want to see deeper. With every conversation, I want to know more. With every touch, I want to feel him closer and deeper than before.It’s that intense desire to connect with him, all of him, coupled with a familiarity that I’ve never known with any other that causes me to want to experience and try everything with him…which brings me to the “48.” I am making plans. I won’t disclose too much of them yet, I’m still sorting them out myself. I can say the first hour will be pretty standard. I don’t have near the patience that Yang has and I want him when I want him, which is always now, not later. I’m still working on the middle “48″ period, but as for the ending hours, I’m thinking about some tantric massage for Yang. By then, he will definitely deserve it.I really miss him right now!!!

Brer Rabbit

Every time I read Yin’s writing I realize again how much we think alike. It’s actually not a bad thing that the Pat’s defense sucked on Sunday- I feel like Brer Rabbit in the briar patch. My biggest challenge in all this will be having to wait for the 48 hours to start. Of course, I’m not quite sure what Yin has in mind for the 48, so maybe waiting for it won’t be the biggest challenge. I know one thing though, it won’t be quite as easy as Yin thinks for me to go that long with her and hold off. If I can make it to the end though, I doubt I’ll have ever experienced anything like it. So, I plan to try. My mind is already racing at the thought of what might be in store. Putting my hands on her- anywhere -is like touching an electric charge. Every contact I have with her races straight to certain points in my body. She’s right about my liking to spoil her. It’s not all unselfish though…spoiling her charges me up too.

Told you so…

As the world now knows, the New York Giants rule. The Patriots lost, I won the wager and was therefore due an amazing hour long post game show with Yang. However, (not to gloat or anything) I also predicted how much the Giants would win by (3 points) and when they would take the final lead (during the last minute of play). So, I opted to trade my hour for 48 hours in which I can have Yang as often as I want but he’ll be waiting for the big finish. I would like to think this would be a true test of his patience, but I know from experience that this will be no challenge for him. I would also like to think that it was my football savvy and amazing ability to predict the outcome of the superbowl that got me 48 hours of bliss. But, the truth is, I’m actually really spoiled and I think I could have gotten the 48 hours just for the asking. To prove it, I have the promised 48 and I got the post game show anyway. He is so good to me.

Impossible to Lose

The way I see it, I win either way. If the Giants win (which we all know they will), Yang has to do whatever I want. But, if by some remote chance the Patriots stumble into victory, I can’t wait to hear what I get to do to him. I’m sure it will be interesting. Yang’s imagination is quite something. I don’t think it ever stops from the time he wakes up until he goes to bed.So… it is impossible for me to lose. When daydreaming about Yang, it usually entails me doing something to him rather than the other way around. Thinking about touching and tasting him is enough to send me over the edge. Just falling asleep next to him, skin on skin, keeps my body wanting him…needing him. He truly has to be the sexiest man on the planet.

A Little Wager

If you’re into the NFL Superbowl, Yin likes the Giants. Actually, Yin just likes whoever is playing against the Patriots. I, on the other hand, like the Patriots. I woke up this morning with Yin laying next to me…touching me….legs only though…she was still sleeping….and her hot skin warming my blood. We were out last night talking about various things, including the upcoming Patriots victory (the way in which I like to refer to today’s Superbowl), and it hit me that we each ought to put our money where our mouth is so to speak. Yin touching me, like she was when I woke up this morning, means my brain must think about sex with her along with whatever else it may happen to be thinking about. So, from the combination of those two thoughts comes the wager: if the Giants win today (unlikely), then I will do Yin’s bidding for an hour after the game. However, if (when) the Patriots win today, then Yin will have to do whatever I want her todo for an hour after the game. Our post game will, either way, definitely be more interesting than the post game broadcast on the television.

Cool conversation

Yin and I have some pretty good conversations. Of late, several have occurred at a particular favorite hangout. I like it, because it has the feel of being somewhere more metropolitan than where we really are…and sometimes that’s kind of nice. I like it also, because it’s private enough to have some really deep conversation. Nice change of pace.It is inevitable that if I am around Yin for very long, then I am going to have to put my hands on her. I like touching her. I like looking at her too. Both combined are something else. I got to do all that, and more, last night. It was kind of funny…on the way out I was checking out Yin’s posterior. I got a really good handle on things while I was at it. I happened to look up, and the bartender was looking at us both and then he saw where I had my hand. He just smiled as we walked out. I was thinking later that if he liked that, then it’s too bad he didn’t see us about an hour or so afterward…he would have been standing on the bar doing the wave.